I believe I can fly

On my 25th birthday I jumped out of an airplane for the first time. It was amazing. Although it was a long time ago, I can still remember exactly what it felt like.

Simply put, it was a mixed bag of emotions. First was fear. But not the fear like you know there is a monster under the bed. It was the fear of the unknown.

Then there were the what if's? What if the chute doesn’t open? What if I scream like a girl or sweat like a boy? The words from the attorney early that day rang in my ears. He made me sign a waiver as he was saying, “Do you realize by the end of the day today, you could die?”

Anxiety was huge. My heart was pounding in my chest like a tympani drum echoing through my head. Adrenaline was flowing through my veins and I could feel every vessel pumped.

Half-dozen of the Minnesota Gopher football team was on that plane. I felt so small tucked in a hole next to the pilot, who said with a strange grin, “We throw the big guys out first to see where they will land.”

They hooted all the way out and not one of them chickened out. Nor would I.

I climbed out onto the wind, saying a prayer.
I closed my eyes. I let go.

There was a small technical problem, (its called a bundle of crap) but I fixed it and the chute opened.

And then ... (pause) it was me ... and God. And together I felt like I could do anything.

As I was resting in the palm of His hand floating effortlessly in the sky with an almost fully inflated parachute, I had a feeling of overwhelming peace. I did not ever want to land.

But, land I did, which brought overwhelming feelings of confidence. I was empowered. I could do anything. I was laughing and screaming and I wanted to do it again. That was a natural high I will never forget. I held onto that feeling for several weeks actually. With nearly every step, I felt again and again that it is just me and God. And I can do anything.

I saw my surgeon today. I felt very positive energy going into the office. My blood pressure was good and nurse Jan was smiling.

The doc. said, the biopsy came back and all the margins were clear. There is nothing there. The bad cancer cells have been removed.

I still have to see the oncologist and have an all over body scan and mapping of my moles, but the lab results are clear and that is good.

What a day I had left behind.

Driving from Brainerd to Isle on this 40-degree sunshiny day, I had the windows in my Jeep open. My hair was blowing in my face. The Corrs celtic beat blasting my favorite summertime tunes on my stereo.

And again, it was just me and God. And I can do anything.