Au revoir mon ami, Jim. It's been a great ride

Thursday, May 1, 2008

I stopped to visit my friend Jim this morning. “Hi there, Handsome,” I said to him.
There is every possibility that was the last time I will see him.

He apologized for not getting up. “I’m sorry you have to see me this way,” he said surrounded by the comfort of his own bed complete with fluffy pillows and a soft comforter. The hospice people were to be coming later. And a priest.

“Don’t be silly. You look comfortable.”

He noticed I have lost some weight. I said thanks and that I had been working on it, but would give anything for a Dairy Queen hot fudge banana malt.

He told me I should just have one.“Don’t worry about stuff like that, Viv. If you want a malt you should have a malt. There just isn’t enough time in life to skip out on having malts. I know. Trust me. It all works out in the end.”

I laughed. A little. “I’ll keep that in mind. Is there anything I can get for you?”

“A couple more years would be nice. Right now I would take a day more.”

I held back the tears as he told me he felt in his heart that he had a day, maybe two left on this earth. That would be a good time to be wrong, Jim.

We talked for quite some time. Jim has always some great stories to tell. We have quite a few laughs over quite a few cocktails in recent years. I wish I would have known him longer. He has had a great life. But that is just about come to an end. He shared with me some very wonderful things. Some of them I will share with you.

“It’s been a great ride,” Jim said.

Jim has no regrets about his life. That is the way you should live, he said. “If I had the chance to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

But he does wish he had more time. He said he feels bad that he will be leaving his family. He has some great kids, he said. He is lucky. He is especially worried about Mary, his wife. “She is wonderful. I don’t know what I would have done without her,” he said.

Here are just a few pieces of advice Jim shared with me today.

- Do the right thing every day. When you can look yourself in the mirror at night and know you were a good person that day, it was a good day. Have lots of those.

- Just get a long with people.

- Don’t be jealous of what other people have. You want something, make it happen, get it yourself, or get over it.

- There is no time for petty things.

- When you are lying down in the last few days of your life, it is not the big events that you remember. It is the little everyday stuff that can take my breath away. Those are important. Hang on to them.

- Make a lot of memories.

- There is not a lot that is better than a great day on a bike or on the water. Sun and wind feel good.

Jim said more. He always has more to say.
He said he has been thinking about religion a lot lately. It’s no surprise.

“I’ve never been a real religious man. I believe in God. But not so much in religion,” he said.

He was “kicked out of the Catholic church” many years ago when he got divorced and then remarried he said. So, he didn’t have much time for religion. But he knows there is a God and he believes in Him and he believes in heaven.

“There will be one more angel in heaven, Jim. I am counting on you to shake things up a bit up there.”

“And I will be there watching you. Wear your sunscreen. If you feel someone tapping on your shoulder and there is nobody there, you can just know it is me.”

Thanks for all the advice, Jim. I stopped and bought myself a Dairy Queen malt. I shared it with a cat that’s been hanging out behind the office. I named the cat Jim.

I will be thinking of you often, Jim. And miss you very much. I will be waiting for a tap on my shoulder.

It’s been a great ride.

Bon au revoir mon ami. Jusqu'à ce que nous rencontrons encore. Good bye my friend. Until we meet again.


Peace.